PRIDE

So tomorrow is my last PRIDE (Parents Resources for Information Development Education) class. As I was warned, a coffee was needed for each class and I can see how this training could indeed "weed" out the people who weren't really serious about this. There were some videos, in-depth talk and personal stories about topics that made me not only run home and put Antonio into a bubble for the rest of his life but wonder what I am getting us, all of us, into. However, at the same time, I just wanted to gather up a kid(s) already, maybe a whole team of them. These poor kids in foster care. They have not only seen and heard horrific things but have had horrific things happen to them. The abuse, physical and emotional, my gosh, I cannot even begin to imagine. Ugh...

But with love, support and the right amount (and certain kind) of help, could grow up and lead somewhat normal lives. I think it gets me to the core so much because I have Antonio. I could not, nor do I want to, begin to imagine Antonio having to live through/with some of these things. Breaks my heart so much.

Like I said, there were a few times when I wondered if I really wanted us to go forward with fostering. The baggage these kids could/will come with and the immense struggle/pain they will have regardless of how great we are pulls on me.

There have been some "hmm, wow" moments too. What is the ONE thing you could not live with out between: your values, places that make you happy, people that make you happy, groups your involved in, laws and how you support your family? When it comes down to it most of you would say your values or the people that make you happy. The first thing kids loose when put into foster care is those people that make them happy...  :(  Even though those people tend to be the ones that are "hurting" them they still love them and want to be with them. Its just so sad...

So next up is finding a time where we can attend a first aid class and filling out all of the paperwork. In my opinion, the sooner the better for many reasons! So in the meantime keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It seems we are almost to the way at the halfway point in the process. Maybe a part of me wishes we had gone through an agency; we would have had someone there to hold our hand through all this and to maybe give us a "push" every now and then. :) Oh well.

Compression socks

I am in love.

Ok, maybe that's a little strong but I love my new socks, compression socks that is!

I caved and asked Albert pick me up a pair at the Expo when he picked up his race bib (he ran in the Seattle Rock n Roll yesterday). Maybe it's coincidence but the past two runs I have done my legs, well, calf's, have felt great; like before! Hooray! I have worn my socks both times and now don't want to run with out them! It could be completely mental, who knows, but I am sold on them. They are crazy expensive so I may only have one pair for awhile but so far I swear by them. It's almost like I've been cured!

Ok, again, maybe a little extreme but it's great.

Sure my calf's ache a little still but I don't feel like giving up a mile or so in like I was. I feel good during and after my runs again and believe it or not I want to go run. Yes, my allergies are still driving me mad so thats still a bit rough but my legs are much, much, better.

These socks are by no means, the most stylish things I've worn. Knee high socks, that are bright pink (see picture below) and apparently glow in the dark but I love them! Yes, I know you are jealous, especially with the glow in the dark part and no I have not verified they actually do but the packaging claims they do. I would much rather be "laughed" at for a brief moment by passerby's than get laughed at (or negatively talked about) a lot for not wearing them, not running and getting "fat".

Yes, most people do, at some point, talk negatively about "fat" people; its just a sad reality in our society.

That, for me, is what I have found it comes down to. If I don't run, I gain weight. Period. In my 30-something years of living, I have yet to be able to get the whole eating well thing down. I can do it for a week, or if I am lucky, a few weeks but then it's right back to not so eating well. :/  Scientifically, there may not be any proof or anything else showing that the compression socks help someone run better, or longer but they have helped me run better so I will continue to wear them.

**Summary of what compression socks supposedly do, from running.competitor.com (http://running.competitor.com/2012/12/shoes-and-gear/do-compression-socks-really-work_62611):

With manufacturers claiming compression socks and tights increase oxygen delivery, decrease lactic acid, prevent cramps, and minimize muscle fatigue, the wonder garments have been the hottest new item in athletic circles. But, whether or not the socks and tights deliver as promised has been an open question – one even researchers don’t have a clear answer for.


Here's to a lot my running that isn't so hard in my future! :)

Running

Running has been so hard for me lately and I'm not sure why. Its frustrating. At first I thought it was because I had gotten so out of routine and my body wasn't used to it but I've been back at it for a couple weeks now and it has not gotten any easier. I used to be able to run 3 miles without out much trouble. Now, most of the time 3 miles is rough. My legs just get so tired that I am pushing myself to finish without walking all the way home. I am hoping part of it is due to allergies and that once the "season" is past I will be good again. But then I realize there is a good chance my allergies have nothing to do with my legs getting so tired. :/  If it continues to be this hard I wonder just how long I will keep convincing myself to run.

Every once in while I try to remember how I got through allergy season last year but then remember I had started running after Antonio's birthday; so it hasn't even been a year yet. I am trying to stick with it, at least through the allergies to see. I've thought about compression socks but I am not sure that they will help. I've heard they help with "tired" legs but I am guessing that is for running long distances and well I am not sure I want to spend the money for them not to work. So we will see. Fingers crossed something works because the running has helped me lose weight and somewhat keep it off! That is what has kept me running even though its been super rough!

Fingers crossed it gets easier!

Orientation

Even after the Foster care orientation and the depressing video narrated by Morgan Freeman, I still want to do this. :). In fact I'm a little more anxious! I went alone to the orientation since Albert had to be home with Antonio which was kind of a bummer but it's ok. I do my PRIDE training, which is 27hrs of training over 5 days, in July then all we have to do is the first aide/blood borne pathogens course and we'll be done...for now. Oh and the 100 pages (ok maybe only 20, see the stack in the picture below!) of application/background check and personal information. If I "pass" this then I must be ok! Ha!

Happily all we have to get is a fire extinguisher, fire escape ladder for upstairs and a twin bed for the bedroom; all we need/should get just to have anyways! This prepping will make us and our home much better and safer in the long run! Thanks in advance for all your praying and support! 

You're not my REAL Mom

That is one of my biggest fears, one of many at least, about adopting.

I have many worries/fears, selfish ones for the most part. What if they (they kid) doesn't like me or better yet doesn't want to live here. Maybe they have lived in other homes that were "better"? What if they just want their biological Mom; after all, I am not their REAL Mom which leads me to what if they throw at me the whole, "You're not my real Mom" argument? Another reason why I am hoping for a younger child with minimal other homes they had been in. I did find this blog post that someone I follow on Twitter linked and am glad I did. It is also a good post for Mother's Day weekend! You don't have to be a biological Mom to be a real Mom!

Foster to Adopt

For those of you who actually read this, this is not public knowledge...yet. Granted here it is on the big ol' internet but who really reads this anyways? Not many without a FB link; so I am not worried. :)

However, it is no secret we just haven't made it public knowledge yet since we are just starting.

Starting what you ask? 

Albert and I have officially decided to get our foster license so we can become foster parents with the goal of fostering to adopt a little girl. We recently met with my step-brother Andrew, who is the founder of and attorney at The Children's Law Center of Washington and his wife, my sister-in-law, Michele who is the Director of Local Orphan Care at their church to learn about our options. As you can see they know a bit about adoption and foster care! :) We are pretty lucky to have them in our corner for support and to give us answers to any and all questions we have!

We have decided to do foster care instead of straight out adoption, for a few reasons but one because of money. It can be very expensive to adopt, very. So we will hopefully adopt through foster care. Though adopting through foster care can be very emotionally "expensive". The state does everything it can to reunite kids with their birth parents and/or relatives, for good reason. So there is a good chance we may have more than one child in our home, living with us, then being reunited with their family. We are hoping to be lucky enough to be able to adopt the first one! We also know this could be potentially hard on Antonio having a kid(s) come and go but we are hoping it won't be more than one. 

We have decided to go through the state versus an agency. There are a couple agencies in our area but from what Andrew and Michele told us, both are having their own "troubles" right now. A lot of turnover of employee's, understaffing/overworked etc and may not be any more help than the state would be. So instead of paying an agency and not getting any more help than from the state, we will go through the state. We are planning on/hoping to accept a little girl, maybe 6 months to 4 years old, younger than Antonio and preferably young enough to not have been in other homes. Fingers crossed. Antonio has been wanting a little sister for awhile now so I am sure he will be thrilled. Well, maybe only until he realizes he will have to share everything including us and our attention! :)

We have quite a bit of training to do before we can even submit our application for our license so it won't happen real fast. Unfortunately the training classes aren't held very frequently and not always at times we can attend. I am hoping we can have our license by the end of the year but we'll see, we are after all, going through the state. 

I am thinking about creating a "group" on FB and include family and a few friends who I think will want to know/care that we are doing this and post links to this blog when there are updates/news regarding it. You'll know soon enough if I do! :) In the meantime please pray that we are able to complete the appropriate training quickly so we can move forward on the process! Albert and I are both excited to do this! 

Part time

So far SOOOOOOO good!

Last week was my first week of being part time and it was so good, besides the fact Antonio came down with croup Friday night and we were plagued with it the rest of the weekend. :(  Poor guy, he is still struggling with it. Thursday we hung out at home, cleaned and did laundry which felt great because  I then had 3 more days home with him. Friday morning we went to the Children's Museum, which is probably where he got croup, and had a blast... and we still had two more days! :)  On the flip side of Antonio getting croup it didn't feel like the whole weekend was shot, we had already had two days of fun together!

This week was nice too.

Granted, he is still fighting the nastiness, we had a family day Thursday at the Zoo and it was beautiful! Albert now works Friday-Tuesday so Thursday is family day! The worst thing about this week is that I have to work tomorrow, Saturday. Boo! Unfortunately, through the Summer I will be working one Saturday each month in our Bellevue location. Double boo! Oh well!

I look forward to more short weeks and long weekends with Antonio this Summer! Spending time in the sun and going on adventures together, almost sounds to good to be true! :)