So tomorrow is my last PRIDE (Parents Resources for Information Development Education) class. As I was warned, a coffee was needed for each class and I can see how this training could indeed "weed" out the people who weren't really serious about this. There were some videos, in-depth talk and personal stories about topics that made me not only run home and put Antonio into a bubble for the rest of his life but wonder what I am getting us, all of us, into. However, at the same time, I just wanted to gather up a kid(s) already, maybe a whole team of them. These poor kids in foster care. They have not only seen and heard horrific things but have had horrific things happen to them. The abuse, physical and emotional, my gosh, I cannot even begin to imagine. Ugh...
But with love, support and the right amount (and certain kind) of help, could grow up and lead somewhat normal lives. I think it gets me to the core so much because I have Antonio. I could not, nor do I want to, begin to imagine Antonio having to live through/with some of these things. Breaks my heart so much.
Like I said, there were a few times when I wondered if I really wanted us to go forward with fostering. The baggage these kids could/will come with and the immense struggle/pain they will have regardless of how great we are pulls on me.
There have been some "hmm, wow" moments too. What is the ONE thing you could not live with out between: your values, places that make you happy, people that make you happy, groups your involved in, laws and how you support your family? When it comes down to it most of you would say your values or the people that make you happy. The first thing kids loose when put into foster care is those people that make them happy... :( Even though those people tend to be the ones that are "hurting" them they still love them and want to be with them. Its just so sad...
So next up is finding a time where we can attend a first aid class and filling out all of the paperwork. In my opinion, the sooner the better for many reasons! So in the meantime keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It seems we are almost to the way at the halfway point in the process. Maybe a part of me wishes we had gone through an agency; we would have had someone there to hold our hand through all this and to maybe give us a "push" every now and then. :) Oh well.
