Courage.

It's that time of year again, New Years Eve is this Saturday and only 361 days until Christmas! (ha!)

Last year I noticed that instead of a new years resolution, some people chose a "word" for the 2016 year. Personally, I've never been a fan of the whole new years resolution thing, I feel like they just set us all up for potential failure. Honestly, I didn't really get the idea of choosing a "word", it seemed weird to me. This year I think I understand it more and actually kinda like it. Then again, maybe I don't understand but I have found my own interpretation of the idea. Here's how I see it:

↠ There aren't any specific things one has to do, or not do. It's more of a theme to live by for the upcoming year instead of an actual action like loosing weight, saving money, traveling or exercisng more, etc. Which we always seem to fail at in way or another.  

I feel like with having a word for the new year it can cover a broader spectrum, more of a general idea. So whats my word for 2017 you ask?

To have courage.

As some of you know I've been struggling with making a decision in whether or not to sell LuLaRoe. I've been doing a lot of research and yet still can't make a decision. Many of you know I struggle/battle with anxiety...

Every. Single. Day. 

Because of that, making this decision has been even harder for me. Earlier this year I had a friend send me a "saying" she had posted on her timeline. I printed it out and framed it. I thought it was a good daily reminder for myself. Then this Christmas I received the "courage" willow tree angel from one of my dearest friends who knows me better than I probably realize. I didn't realize at the time I received it how very perfect it was for me. ❤ 

I have been seeing a therapist for my anxiety for about 4 months now and it has helped me in ways I didn't expect. She has helped me realize what causes my anxiety, which is a first step. Well not the actual causes but more of what fuels it: fear, all "what if's" (fear of the unknown) is HUGE, what everyone else thinks and lack of control. If I can find the courage to just do things without letting all the fear consume me, that would be half the battle, if not more. ☺ 

2017 will be the year I hope (<----see, theres that fear of committing) to have courage to make decisions (1 in particular right now) and do more. Go out more, experience more, enjoy more (without being in a constant state of anxiety), have the courage to say "no" more, not be so afraid of failing and be able to be me more without the fear of what others think. 

Yikes, all that seems so scary and takes a lot courage.... 

Wish me luck. 

Chapter Four....?

A new chapter might be starting for me, well, us. I stress the might right now because I haven't decided for sure yet. It would be a big leap of faith however, as it turns out not as big of a risk as I initially thought.

I'm (seriously) considering becoming a LulaRoe consultant. A couple months ago I purchased my first pair of LLR leggings and fell in love. Seriously fell in love. They truly are as soft as they are advertised to be. Wearing leggings was a big step in itself. I don't have big legs but they are in no way small or toned. I felt a little naked, exposed and self conscious at first, but after wearing them out in public a few times I grew comfortable in them. In fact, I felt amazing in them, truly. I was incredibly comfortable, there was no muffin top action because they came up and over my stomach and I even received a couple compliments. ♥ I rarely get compliments on what I wear. I hope it isn't because I look awful or have terrible taste, just that I wasn't "stand out cute". ☺ With LLR I am apparently stand out cute and who doesn't like compliments?! LLR carries so much more than just leggings; dresses, skirts, tops, kids items and more. All of which can make you feel amazing in! ♥

About a week ago I hosted a "pop-up" party and had LLR consultant, Mary, co-host with me. It was so much fun! I invited friends (and even some family) over; we shopped, snacked and chatted. It was so much fun! Mary made it look easy too! Thanks to all of you who purchased items, I earned two FREE items! At the end of the party, a couple of us were quizzing Mary on how to become a consultant. Since then, her and I have been chatting about it and now I am seriously considering it. I have my reservations but I'm thinking about "jumping in". 😬 

Yes, there's a hefty start up investment, no we can't afford it, but after researching and reading the "agreement" I've learned that it is essentially fully refundable. If I agree to "sign up" I enter into what they call a queue, waiting period, for approximately 8 weeks before LLR actually accepts my "application". Once they do, it's at that point I can say "yes, I want to become a consultant" or "no, I have changed my mind.". It is reassuring that after those weeks I can still change my mind. Assuming I say yes, it is then I would pay the investment cost which is actually the purchasing of my initial order of items. Once I receive the items I can begin selling them and making my money back right away!! After I get my initial order I can STILL  change my mind! I could send my all items back to LLR and gets a refund less a 15% restocking fee OR sell all my items at cost to other consultants and get ALL my money back! And selling them to consultants or even customers is a relatively easy option.

Phew... Call me a pessimist but being able to stop doing all this at any point is reassuring to me. 

One of my concerns is getting "in over my head". That and the actual business side of things. Because of always having my inventory on hand (which is one of my favorite parts of LLR), versus having customers (you) order from a catalog, and then being responsible for collecting the money from purchases, I would become an actual business owner! Yikes. Thats serious business and THAT really intimidates me too! 

Another nice thing is that other consultants would not competition to me. There are no "territories". Every time I would order items all I get to do is pick styles and sizing, LLR chooses and sends the patterns. There is a limited number of patterns made in any particular style, therefore, each piece is more of a "one-of-a-kind" and customers (you, again) can shop with multiple consultants because everyone has different patterns available! This is what makes LLR unique. I could and probably would, do most of my sales via a FB group and occasionally host open house pop ups at my house and do pop up parties at friends homes (with their friends) within a close radius of my home since I don't have a ideal way to transport everything! My jetta is only so big! ☺

Albert is incredibly supportive of this new potential adventure which makes it a possibility. This would also be a great opportunity to be able to contribute some income to our family as well. Luckily, we are doing just fine without needing this for more income but of course it would be nice. ☺ A positive and negative is that I would do a lot of the work. LLR does very little for me. The positive with that is that I could essentially make it my own business and make it work for me because it would be my own business. The negative, is that I have to do so much. The only thing I would have to do is purchase 30 items each month to stay "active". I'm guessing if I'm doing it right at all, that would be easy. I have been researching and debating for about a week now. If I am honest, it I'm hesitant because I'm not sure I could do it. It would be a big step and that scares me, a lot. Its such a big decision and in my mind there are so many "what if's" but if you really know me, "what if's" always consume my mind, not just with this decision but with everyday life. 

What if I fail and just can't do this?

But what if I can do this and succeed?! 

If I do decide to start this LLR journey I would greatly appreciate your support. I would ask you all only once if you would want to join my LLR group to learn about and/or purchase items in the future and thats it. I promise to not constantly post about it on my personal timeline! ♥