Caution..potentially to much information...

You were warned. :)

As you know I, we, were sick for about a week so there was no running for about a week and a half. Before that was the holidays and all  the food that goes along with that. I was feeling pretty crappy. I had gone on a good run right after the new year and thought I had started the new year off on a good foot; then we got sick. I wasn't going to let that get in my way; I couldn't.

I went on a couple short runs. I felt so out of breath and shape even though they were my regular route and shorter. That got me discouraged, very discouraged and unmotivated. I went to the gym for a run (on the treadmill) and it pretty much kicked my butt. I forgot how hard it was. And my pants were fitting a little more snug than normal which made me feel even worse. The little bit of running I was doing didn't seem to be helping anything. Then, because I am an emotional eater, I found myself wanting (and eating) sweets; a lot of them. It didn't help that we celebrated 3 birthdays in less than two weeks which meant a lot of cake and well you can't turn down birthday cake; that's just rude. ;)  Well, I can't at least. That just fueled my cravings. :/

I started to feel fat.

I tried drinking more water than my normal amounts and that seemed to only make me feel bloated. Which did not help. My pants were officially feeling to snug and I had no interest in eating "healthier" food. Double/triple/quadruple whammy!

Then I started my period. AHA! As Oprah says, it was my "Aha" moment! :)  That is what all "this" is about. It makes perfect sense now! Mind you, this never crossed my mind because that would make me  a little over a week early. I am a pretty regular girl so this didn't seem like a possibility. And, I had none of my normal crankiness/emotional crap that always goes a long with it.

Now that I know I haven't gained a bunch of weight like I thought (and even though the scale didn't say I had). I suddenly felt better. I went to the gym yesterday and had a good run (it was still hard but I felt good instead of dead and fat afterwards) and didn't crave/want to sit and eat crap! It was nice. Even my pants fit differently! Yay! Big sigh of relief. My life-long roller coaster ride of losing, then gaining, then losing then gaining again wasn't continuing. At least not yet.

Its bizarre that when I was feeling fat, I had no motivation to go run, let alone eat better. But now that I know what caused me to feel that way I do want to run and eat better. Humph. Such a mental game with me. You'd think after all the running I've done I would want to go run to get that motivation and "feeling good" back even more but nope. Not at all.

And that, that scared me.

If I slip up and gain weight and let it even begin to spiral out of control, I could be doomed. The scale never showed that I had actually gained any weight, maybe a pound but that is it. Yet I was still convinced that I had; it (the scale) must be wrong. I mean my pants were so snug. :/

I have found (awhile back) a couple quotes I liked that I need to print out and keep visible so I can remind myself that I can't so I won't derail.

And

And

The last one is my favorite I think, because it is SO true. Even on days I only run a short amount, it is better that not! Running has been so good for me. It's helped me loose, during the holidays maintain, my weight. And it feels so good to breath in all the clean (except when a truck or old car passes you with stinky exhaust, I hate that!) fresh air and just clear my mind.

Now, if this rain will just let up so I can go run!