Anxiety.

I am pretty sure I have anxiety issues.

Going anywhere out of routine I get nervous, upset stomach (nauseous) and need to consciously breathe. No, I am not kidding, I get like this anytime we (I) go anywhere that is not in my normal day to day routine. On the way to taking Antonio to school on the day I was helping out in his classroom, I was a wreck. When I pulled a muscle in my back last week and was driving to the walk-in; I was a wreck. The list goes on, it's awful. When Antonio gets sick, it's the same thing.

There ought to be an anxiety pill specifically for Mom's (and Dad's too) for when their kid(s), baby, is sick. Really, there should be. Antonio has a bug. He woke up this morning sneezy, and a runny nose but nothing more. He ate like normal and acted normal so we went out our day. It wasn't until he asked to go up and take a nap (in his bed) in the middle of my workout...at 11:15 that I got concerned. I finished up, only about 10 min., and went up to check on him. Sure enough, he was in his bed with the light off, watching a show on his iPad, half asleep. He said he felt sick and needed to rest. I thought ok, go ahead and rest. He had a hard time breathing through his nose so I filled and turned on his humidifier. After about 20m he fell asleep, a good hour and a half before he usually naps. He slept for 1hr and 45m.

When he woke up he felt warm and my anxiety kicked in. He had gone to bed without lunch so I asked him if he was hungry for lunch, he said no. My anxiety kicked up another notch, he must really feel sick. We watched Toy Story while he clearly had a temperature by now. I convinced him to eat some apples and toast, which he did. When Toy Story was over he said he was sleepy and needed to back to his bed and snooze. By now he was feeling hot and was very lethargic. It was true, he caught a bug. He stayed in bed the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. He let me change his clothes so I could get him into jammies but thats about it. He wanted me or Albert to sit with him the whole time. :( Poor kid. We gave him a dose of tylenol to help him sleep and tucked him in for the night.

Here I lay, worried about him. My anxiety level is through the roof, partly feeling sick myself. Am I getting sick? Will he sleep through the night? Will he throw-up? Will his temperature go down? What happens if his temperature gets higher? What if, what if, WHAT IF??? I know in a week, hopefully much sooner, this will be a distant memory but for right now, as Peg in Peg + Cat (a PBS kid show) says, I am totally freaking out! :)

Damn you anxieties, damn you.