Once again I have not made a resolution for the new year. I stopped doing that years ago and decided to choose a word or phrase of the year instead.
Last year it was Live in the Present.
I'm not sure how much I really did that. I found myself constantly looking back with doubt and worrying about the future. I still do that, but have come to realize I probably always will thanks to my depression and anxiety.
This year?
Keep your Promises
Like most of you, I read Girl, Wash your Face and was a
A few months ago after I was out to dinner with my closest girlfriend which was an impromptu happy hour that turned into an impromptu dinner and ended up going later than any of us anticipated, I went downstairs to the basement where our old treadmill is hidden and ran a few miles. I put the evidence of that workout on Snapchat, and later my girlfriend saw it and sent me a text. “You worked out after dinner? What in the world?”
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I wrote back, “Yes, because I planned on doing it and didn’t want to cancel.”
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“Couldn’t you just postpone until tomorrow?” She was genuinely perplexed.
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“No, because I made a promise to myself and I don’t break those, not ever.”
.
“Ugh," she typed back. "I’m the FIRST person I break a promise to.”
.
She’s not the only one. I used to do that all the time until I realized how hard I was fighting to keep my word to other people while quickly canceling on myself. I’ll work out tomorrow became I’m not working out anytime soon—because honestly, if you really cared about that commitment, you’d do it when you said you would. What if you had a friend who constantly flaked on you? What if every other time you made plans she decided not to show up? Or what if a friend from work was constantly starting something new? Every three Mondays she announced a new diet or goal and then two weeks later it just ended?
.
Y’all, would you respect her? This woman who starts and stops over and over again? Would you count on the friend who keeps blowing you off for stupid reasons? Would you trust them when they committed to something?
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No.
.
No way. And that level of distrust and apprehension applies to you too. Your subconscious knows that you, yourself, cannot be trusted after breaking so many plans and giving up on so many goals.
.
When you really want something, you will find a way. When you don’t really want something, you’ll find an excuse. I know that blowing off a workout, a date, an afternoon to organize your closet, or some previous commitment to yourself doesn’t seem like a big deal—but it is. It’s a really big deal. Our words have power, but our actions shape our lives.
.
I wrote back, “Yes, because I planned on doing it and didn’t want to cancel.”
.
“Couldn’t you just postpone until tomorrow?” She was genuinely perplexed.
.
“No, because I made a promise to myself and I don’t break those, not ever.”
.
“Ugh," she typed back. "I’m the FIRST person I break a promise to.”
.
She’s not the only one. I used to do that all the time until I realized how hard I was fighting to keep my word to other people while quickly canceling on myself. I’ll work out tomorrow became I’m not working out anytime soon—because honestly, if you really cared about that commitment, you’d do it when you said you would. What if you had a friend who constantly flaked on you? What if every other time you made plans she decided not to show up? Or what if a friend from work was constantly starting something new? Every three Mondays she announced a new diet or goal and then two weeks later it just ended?
.
Y’all, would you respect her? This woman who starts and stops over and over again? Would you count on the friend who keeps blowing you off for stupid reasons? Would you trust them when they committed to something?
.
No.
.
No way. And that level of distrust and apprehension applies to you too. Your subconscious knows that you, yourself, cannot be trusted after breaking so many plans and giving up on so many goals.
.
When you really want something, you will find a way. When you don’t really want something, you’ll find an excuse. I know that blowing off a workout, a date, an afternoon to organize your closet, or some previous commitment to yourself doesn’t seem like a big deal—but it is. It’s a really big deal. Our words have power, but our actions shape our lives.
-Excerpt from the chapter in my new book Girl, Wash Your Face about breaking promises to yourself
Yes!! After reading that I was left with a big, "Whoa, she has a point". I am always breaking promises to myself and rarely breaking promises to others. Partly because of my horrible worrying obsession of what others think of me.
Its a really problem of mine. I constantly worrying what others will think about me, what I say and don't say, do and don't do etc. It's awful. My therapist has tried hard to get me to stop worrying but it's second nature.
I digress.
I feel like I have been working on me for so long now. But I am happy to say that little by little things are getting better. ☺ This year I plan on keeping my promises to myself and remembering that my wellbeing is worth it.
And so is yours. ❤
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